


Fade Away

by MisfitWriter



Category: Chicago PD (TV)
Genre: 3x01 missing scene, F/M, Jay Halstead whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-05
Updated: 2017-12-05
Packaged: 2019-02-10 19:33:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12918765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MisfitWriter/pseuds/MisfitWriter
Summary: 'Missing Scene' from Life is Fluid (3x01), because it always bothered me that Jay did not look like he was going to the hospital when Erin left him at the back of the ambo...but then he wound up admitted overnight to Med.  Also, there were not nearly enough Moustead feels for my liking.So this is my fix-it, way late.





	Fade Away

**Author's Note:**

> I've literally been sitting on this stupid thing for 2 years, and I finally got sick of looking at it, unfinished, and decided to do something about it. I hope you enjoy it for what it is!

Jay Halstead sighed heavily as he watched his partner  _ –no, former partner.  She threw it all away…this was just…a one time thing –  _ walk away stiffly.  After the ordeal in the mansion, he felt…off.  Something just wasn’t right, but he couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was; everything ached and throbbed, so it was impossible to discern what was out of place.  While he’d been talking to Sylvie he’d written the strange feeling off as just another side effect of being tortured for 24 hours.  Now that Erin was walking away, though…

Before he could dwell on it too long, shadows crossed his vision.  “Hey, man, how are you holding up?” Ruzek questioned quietly, stepping up and blocking Jay from the sun’s harsh rays.  A glance to his partner’s stance let Jay know the positioning was intentional, and he found himself grateful for the small gesture.

“We were worried about you…they were brutal,” Atwater added.

Jay cracked a wry smile as he rubbed a hand over what little undamaged space was left on his chest.  Now it was just getting  _ annoying _ .  “Nah, I’ll be fine, I’ve been through significantly worse interrogations than  _ that _ .”  The sharp inhales of both partners in front of him let the detective know he’d said too much.  With a sigh, he closed his eyes.

“Jesus, Jay…”

“I –” Abruptly, white-hot pain filled his chest, and he couldn’t catch his breath.  Instinctively, the former Ranger curled in on himself, a firm grip on his shoulders the only thing keeping him from falling out of the ambulance.

“Hey, hey, easy…what’s going on?” Adam questioned.  Atwater disappeared, but Ruzek didn’t react, too focused on keeping Jay upright.  “Talk to me, buddy.”

“My… _ shit _ , my chest…some…s’mthin’s wr-wrong,” Jay gasped, clinging to Adam’s arms like he was struggling to cling to consciousness.  Voices bombarded his ears after that, but it sounded more and more like he was underwater and they were far beyond his reach.  Darkness crept into his vision, dragging him further into the abyss until blissful unawareness carried him away.

* * *

 

Adam Ruzek watched his partner fade.  It was something he knew he’d never forget…more than hearing Jay’s hoarse cries as he was being beaten and tasered…it was watching Jay Halstead the moment his heart stopped beating.

Not that he’d known that was what happened when he initially sagged against him.  It wasn’t until Atwater returned with Sylvie and Chili, who immediately tugged him away, laid Jay on the ground, and reported that he didn’t have a pulse, that he felt the first overwhelming shock of fear.  After he’d walked himself out of that God-forsaken mansion, they were losing him anyway.  Adam stumbled back numbly as Chili began compressions and Sylvie scrambled into the rig.

“My God,” Antonio breathed beside him.  The younger detective turned.

“He…he was okay.  He was talking just a minute ago, and then started gasping.”

“He’s got burns all over his chest and abdomen.  How many times did they hit him with a Taser?” Sylvie questioned after tearing his shirt the rest of the way open.  They hooked him up to a portable AED, and Adam watched Jay’s body arch against the shock.  When Sylvie looked to him for an answer, he could only shake his head in response.

“Nothing,” Chili growled.  “Once more.  Come on, Halstead, you’ve made it this far.  Don’t cut out on your team now.”  The AED beeped.  “Clear!”

The new surge of electricity was followed by a heaving breath, and Antonio’s hand felt like lead on Adam’s shoulder.  “We’ve gotta get him over to Med.  Doesn’t his brother work over there?  Might be a good idea to give him a heads up if he doesn’t wake up before we get there.  Can you give him a call?” Chili questioned.  Adam nodded, pulling out his phone and scrolling through his contacts until he found the hospital.  As he asked for Will, Ruzek watched the ambulance pull away from the house and speed towards the highway.

* * *

 

Awareness returned to Halstead in the form of painful pressure on his sternum.  He groaned and tried to push off the offender.

“There you go, wake up, sunshine,” a familiar voice insisted.  Jay turned his head in the direction of the voice, and opened his eyes slowly. 

“ _ Doctor Halstead _ , I know he’s your brother, but was it necessary to do that to my patient?”

“It woke him up, didn’t it?  Come on, Jay, enough sleeping on the job.”

As his eyes adjusted to the light, Jay processed his brother’s tone.  Despite his words, Will was worried about him.  “You could’ve asked nicely, ya know.”

“I did.  Several times.”  When the younger Halstead finally focused on his older brother, Will quirked a tired smile at him.  “Welcome back.”

Jay looked around, taking in the sterile equipment around him and the IV secured to the back of his hand.  “What happened?” The smile fell.  “Will?”

“How much do you remember?”

He thought for a moment.  “I remember being taken, Erin coming in and the team getting me out…and I remember talking to Erin sitting in the ambo.  After that…it’s a blank til now.  I’d been checked out and was just waiting on the confirmation that I could go home.  What landed me here?”  Will watched him for a moment seriously.

“Your heart stopped in the middle of a conversation with Adam and Kevin.”

Jay shook his head in surprise.  “Shit.”

“Yeah,” Will agreed, huffing a laugh.  “Doesn’t happen often, but it could have been a combination of Taser hits messing with your pulse and added stress.”  He shook his head, eyes becoming distant and face becoming serious.  “If they’d Tasered you one more time, we probably wouldn’t be having this conversation right now.”

“But they didn’t, and we are.  Don’t go there,” Jay murmured.  “So…when can I get out of here?”

Will rolled his eyes, and gestured to Dr. Manning.  “All yours, Nat.  I’m not touching that one.”  Jay flipped his brother off, before turning an innocent smile to the brunette, fighting a smirk at the elder Halstead’s chuckle.

“I’m definitely keeping you overnight, Detective-”

“Jay, please.  If you have to put up with this clown on a daily basis, you’re practically family.”

“Jay,” she amended with an amused smile.  “Like I was saying, I’m going to keep you here for tonight, monitor your heart to make sure it’s keeping a steady rhythm.  If everything looks okay in the morning, I’ll think about sending you home, but you’ll be on medical leave for at least a week, understood?”

The fact that the former Ranger did not argue was a testament to how sore and tired he was.  “Understood.  Thanks, Nat.”

Dr. Manning squeezed his forearm with a smile, and he was grateful that she avoided his still-sore shoulders.  “Glad you’re okay, Jay.  Get some rest.”  With a pointed look to her coworker, she ducked out of the room. 

Will pushed himself out of the chair, and hovered near the foot of the bed.  “Mouse is in the waiting room.  You ready for company?”  Jay nodded.  “I’ll send him in…I have a feeling Erin’s not too far behind, but I’ll give it a minute before I let the rest of your team know you’re awake.” 

Jay watched him shuffle towards the door, tension radiating off of the doctor.  “Will,” he called, voice low and tired. He waited until his brother turned back, face solemn and drawn.  “Have a drink for me.”

The small smile tugging at Will’s lips felt like victory enough for Jay.  “I’m back in first thing tomorrow.  I’ll check in on you before my shift…maybe give you a ride home if I’m feeling particularly charitable.” The elder Halstead grinned, rapped his knuckles lightly on the doorjamb, and made his way towards the waiting room.

Jay took the quiet moment to breathe, and take stock of the aches and pains that he could still feel.  The pain meds he’d been put on were working well, but he knew that after discharge, he wouldn’t be taking anything that they gave him.  Once he made it home, he’d rather be alert and able to react to any threat that might arise even if it meant being in pain.

“Hey, man.”  The soft voice of his best friend drew Jay from his thoughts once more, and he gave Mouse the most reassuring smile he could muster.  “Atwater and Ruzek are out in the waiting room, and they said they were gonna let the others know you’re awake.  How are you feeling?”

The detective couldn’t help but think back on how Mouse had been just two years before…twitchy, anxious, and frequently on the wrong side of the law.  He was beyond grateful to have the Mouse he’d fought alongside back…the one that had saved his life countless times, and the one that had dragged him back from the precipice before spiraling down his own hole once they got back. The man before him was healthy, steady, confident…despite the lingering guilt and fear Jay could read in his eyes.  “A little sore, but no worse than that time in Kandahar,” he replied.  Mouse flinched, and his suspicion that something was really wrong was confirmed. “Mouse…”

“That time in Kandahar didn’t end in your heart stopping, Jay.  That time in Kandahar, I was able to  _ find _ you!”

“And was I not found this time?  Did the team not get there in time to get me and Lindsay out of there?”  What was he  _ talking _ about?

“No thanks to me!” Mouse snapped, head ducking as he realized he’d raised his voice. 

“Wh- _ Mouse _ , what is that supposed to mean?”

Blue eyes followed Mouse’s movements as he dragged a hand through his hair and paced the small room.  “I was watching the sting from the tech room…up until the first taser hit.  Fried the wire.  After that, I tried everything to get a lock on where they might be taking you.  They ditched everything that I could have possibly used.  It wasn’t until a few hours later that Antonio came down to find me…told me about a DVD that had been dropped off.  He didn’t want to show me at first, but I told him I needed to see it before we started making up the false files.”  His voice caught in his throat, and the muscle in his jaw twitched.  “Brought me back to watching the hadji’s beat you senseless.”  He let out a soft, humorless laugh.  “I thought they were going to kill you that day…it was so much worse than what was on that video…and yet  _ this _ is the beating that did you in.”

“Hey,” Jay interrupted, staring hard at Mouse until he finally turned.  “I’m right here, they brought me back.  After  _ you  _ found me.”

“I was so wrapped up in the memory of that day…so freaked out by that damn video, by the fact that I wasn’t  _ there _ ...it was like my brain shut off.  I could hardly function, man.”  

“Mouse...this wasn’t like that day.  If anyone had been in there with me, I’d bet he would have done the same to them that he did to his  _ brother _ .  This? This I can handle.  I wouldn’t have been able to deal with your blood on my hands.”

“So I’m supposed to deal with your blood on  _ mine _ ? Jay...for a few minutes, that was a  _ reality _ for me.  Your heart was  _ not beating _ .  You were  _ dead _ .  Will told me how close it was...how we were almost too late.  I-” he cut off with a grimace, dragged a hand over his face.  “I’m sorry, man.  You’ve been through enough without having to deal with me freaking out.”

Jay reached out instinctively when Mouse turned towards the door, and couldn’t help the soft hiss when his shoulders protested.  His friend reacted as if he’d been physically struck, and turned back, face pale.  “Don’t shut me out, man.  I’m tired, I’m sore, but I’m not about to let you walk out of here blaming yourself for this.  I  _ will _ get out of this bed and follow you if you don’t sit down.”  The younger man couldn’t help an exasperated smile, and dropped into a chair with a shake of his head.  “This isn’t on you.  None of it.  I...if our positions had been reversed?  I’d have gone ballistic.  You’re my best friend, and we were supposed to be done with worrying about each other getting taken.”

“I get the feeling we’ll never get to stop worrying about that,” Mouse commented wryly.  Jay watched him closely for a long moment, only raising an eyebrow when the other man held his gaze.  “Fine, it’s not my fault,” he relented.

The detective grinned in triumph.  “ _ Thank you _ .”

A timid smile was his reward.  “Okay...someone else who is taking on responsibility for this could probably use a pep-talk too...are you ready for Erin to come in?”  Jay took a slow, steadying breath, and nodded.  His best friend stood again and settled a hand over his ankle.  “I’ll get your apartment ready.  Get some rest, brother.”  Affection filled him as he watched Mouse disappear around the corner; his best friend had come a long way since they’d come home...but no matter how far he’d fallen, Greg Gerwitz had  _ always _ been there to get Jay back on his feet.  The detective only hoped that pulling him up into Intelligence had shown him a fraction of the gratitude he felt for that steadfast support...because it certainly hadn’t been enough to make up for the time he’d failed to repay him.

Erin stepped into his line of vision, and tears immediately filled her eyes as she took in the sight of him.  “Jay…”

“Come here,” he murmured, gesturing her to his side.  She complied, albeit reluctantly, and when she was within reach Jay wrapped his fingers around her wrist.  “I don’t care what happened before...what matters is that you came back for me.   _ You  _ got me out.”

A tear slid down her cheek, and Jay’s chest tightened.  “If I had been there with you at the airport...maybe you wouldn’t have been taken to begin with.”  She tried to pull away from his grip, and he simply tightened it.  “I should’ve-”

“Erin, there is  _ no way _ we could have known Keyes was willing to kill his own brother, or that he would recognize me as a cop.  There’s nothing you can do to change what happened...but like I said, I don’t care about that.  You’re here now...and I’m sure you’re going to mother hen me for the next week…”  She couldn’t smother a tender smile, and he tugged her closer.  When he winced, Erin ghosted her fingers over his shoulder and settled on his jaw, eyes searching his face.  “I’m fine, just sore.  I promise, Linds.  Just...lay with me for a while?”

“I...they won’t like that very much,” she insisted, even as she dropped her bag beside the bed.    
  
“I happen to have an in with one of the ED docs,” Jay teased, shifting gingerly over to make room for her.  He’d take whatever pain it caused, so long as it helped Erin find some semblance of comfort in knowing that he was still there with her.  The comfort that came with having her back in his arms?   _ That _ was just a bonus.


End file.
